Monday, October 14, 2013

On the Subject of Two-Year-Olds, Part 4

4. 2-Year-Olds see your safety instructions as big "Wet Paint" signs.

I admit that when I see a "Wet Paint" sign even now, I'm very much tempted to poke whatever's been painted and see if the sign is telling the truth.  "Sticky," I'll remark to myself, "story checks out."

When I was a kid, Mom told me, "DON'T look at the sun." Well. Doesn't THAT make it incredibly intriguing. Why? What, THIS sun? What happens? What if I look fast? What if I look at it between my fingers? What if... AGH, MY EYES...

Kids learn by doing, and you're just inviting a confirmation science experiment every time you try to pass along health or safety information to a 2-year-old. Now you've piqued their interest, and they certainly aren't going to take your word for it.

Mom's coffee is hot, is it? How hot are we talking? Let's stick a finger in there and see.

There's a blade in the blender, you say. Where, under all that fruit? I don't see it. Maybe there isn't one. Lemme have a little dig.

So, my head won't fit under the chair? Challenge accepted...

Sometimes Big Bro go out of his way to carry an enormous vase across the room to show me how we're not supposed to touch it 'cause it'll break. Or, he'll balance precariously on a soccer ball or start sliding headfirst down the stairs, all while letting me know that it's not a good idea to do it exactly like he's doing it. "Don't go downstairs like this, Mama," he'll say with great sing-song authority as he slides by.

Quite the rules man, he is. So I'll often find myself saying, "Don't touch. And don't touch it to demonstrate how you're not supposed to touch it."


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