Rowdy. You Don't Say

I'm not a fan of those "open letter" posts, where the person does nothing in the moment, but then goes home and rants online like they're all tough and making a difference. 

But if I were the type to write an open letter-style post, it might be titled something like this:

AN OPEN LETTER TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO GET THE KIDS ALL WOUND UP AND THEN WONDER WHY THEY'RE SO ROWDY

Before we visit people or have guests over, we often have a chat with the kids about what it means to be a good guest or a good host, and the kids are all set to rise to the occasion. 

But then the evening starts.

It's great when family and friends take interest in the kids and take time to connect with them. I love that, and so do the kids. 

Sometimes there's extreme connecting, in ways they know kids will enjoy: goofy jokes, wrestling, tickle fights, flips over the shoulder and all-around rowdies. Good times had by all, no arguments there. Shrieking good times. 

DISCLAIMER: Cartoon does not depict real-life friend or family member. The kids are more or less real though.

But then! Then the family member or friend decides he or she has had enough for now and is ready to settle in interact with adults.

But the kids don't get that memo. They're SENT the memo, several memos, in fact, but they're so worked up by the attention, the new audience, the new person to find their antics funny, that they're not quite done with shenanigans.

That includes jokes that were funny half an hour ago, especially wink-wink ones that are out of the normal range of appropriateness. I hope you're ready to hear that fart machine until well past 7 if you bring it out for some giggles at 5, because jokes don't get old for kids. On the contrary! 

So here I am, wrangling them like greased pigs to send them out in the yard to do some laps because the adults would like to have time to talk about something other than butts for a while.

And THEN I come back in all dishevelled and the aforementioned friend or family member is swirling their wine and remarking:

NEED I REMIND YOU, I'd say in all caps in my open letter, that you are the one who got them all wound up and then retired to the living room to let me peel them off the ceiling at my leisure!

I mean, all I'm saying is, thanks for being so fun, but if you're going to be a human rodeo, don't make sideways 'kids these days" eyes at me ten minutes later while you're trying to drink your wine in peace.