Tuesday, December 01, 2020

Sappy Stuff is Cancelled

 I drew this cartoon over a year ago and never posted it.

Little Bro is about to turn 8, and Big Bro is a borderline tween. One is halfway to driving and the other is halfway to adulthood. ACK.

I hereby cancel any books, songs, shows and memes that remind me of how short a time we have with our kids as kids and how quickly they grow up. This includes, but is not limited to:

  • Google Photos' Auto-Generated "They Grow Up So Fast" slide shows of your kids over time, set to sentimental music.
  • Memes about our houses being clean one day... and quiet and empty and lonely and sad (!).  Or how you only have 18 summers or Christmases or however many Saturdays, so don't waste any on practical stuff like groceries or cleaning the garage or whatever.
  • Love you Forever by Robert Munsch (aside: not creepy BTW, so knock it off. All of Munsch's books have over-the-top plot twists, even the sentimental ones. Kids no more think their mom will crawl up a ladder into their grown-men bedrooms at night than they'll be attacked by a sentient mud puddle. I do wonder how the mom seems to age about 60 years in the book, though).
  • The song Forever Now by Michael Bublé, with the time-lapsed kid's room going from baby to child to teen to moving boxes in four minutes). Darn you, Bublé, How is he not a blubbering mess by the end?
  • That stupid scene in Toy Story 3 when Andy moves out.

I do continue to look forward to each new phase. Just stop making my face leak so much in the meantime.

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