Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Deep Thoughts

My little boy turned 6 today. I started this blog when he was 7 months old! After much arguing with his brother as to whether he classified as a Small kid or a Medium kid, I think it was confirmed that he is now officially Medium.

That brain is always going on my Medium son. You never know how much you don't know until you live with a kid who's full of questions:

- What's the biggest stuffed animal in the world? (It's a giant bunny in Italy; I also know many more world records now)
- How much gum would I have to swallow before it was a problem? (Let's not find out)
- Do peanut butter and cheese go together? (He says yes, might just be saving face)
- What will the police do if you run a red light, speed, talk on your phone aaaand eat spaghetti while driving? (probably arrest you, says my cousin the police officer)

All these things I went over 35 years not even thinking to ask.

Today we read "Happy Birthday to You!" by Dr. Seuss. I read him this line:

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.

*Gears turning*

"So who is the SECOND most me-est person alive?"

Happy birthday to my sweet boy who always challenges me with his deep thoughts.

Sunday, March 05, 2017

How to Get your Kids' Attention

It's supper time, or time to get ready to go, or you just need to ask the kids something. Does this ever happen to you?


OK, they're carrying on somewhere, and your attempts to reach them have been futile.

What's next? Holler louder? Go upstairs from room to room until you locate them, whereupon you can get down to their level and lovingly "collect" them? Give up and decide you don't need to go anywhere ever again after all?

No! Don't waste time with any of those. Next time, try my fail-proof plan for collecting your kids.

Nothing beckons "come stand here" to a kid quite like a dirt pile. There's not a sweeping pile in our house that didn't end up with a kid in the middle of it, even if it's in the corner of the room. Even if the kid hadn't been in the room yet all day.

Incidentally, this is a tradition that goes back to my own childhood. Here is a cartoon I drew at 14 of my mom trying to sweep. I now feel her pain (and accept that it doesn't stop in the teen years-- that's me in the last panel. Sigh).

Click to Enlarge

Sorry, Ma.  

So, try it next time you want to save yourself the hassle of hollering or searching the house. If you find that doesn't work, however, you might also try my other strategy, which is to sit down with a cup of coffee. That always gets my children rolling toward me like bony tumbleweeds.